I’ve been managing about one blog entry a week the last few weeks. I guess blogging runs in cycles more or less and this is one of those less times.

I’m never really sure if anyone reads the damn thing so, I don’t worry so much about it. Which is unusual...

...because I actually spend a great portion of my day worrying. I worry about work-whether I have it, if I have it whether I’ll keep it, if I’ll get it done, if I’ll get paid, when I’ll get paid, if I’ll do a good job, if I’ll get there on time, if they’ll be mad if I don’t, what I’m not getting done while I’m at work. I worry about my health-what that pain was, if my blood pressure is too high, if I’m eating right, how much I weigh. I worry about my social life-about getting a girlfriend, about finding a girlfriend, about keeping a girlfriend, if I’ll always be a bachelor, why people don’t call, if I feel comfortable talking to the people who do call, how I come off, how I’m perceived, what I project. If I’m getting things done, if I’m not.

Yes, it’s just a world of worry.

At the end of the day it manages to get me little (other than a few more gray hairs), it’s a habit I’ve so far tried to break myself of (unsuccessfully so) and I keep waiting for that magical day when I will wake up and find myself in some semblance of inner serenity.

Man, if there was one thing I could get for Christmas, that would be it.

In the spirit of that - and the constant struggle to put things in perspective, I post this link, my lame gift to you.

I took another listen to one of my favorite stories, you need Real Audio to listen in but, it’s really worth it.

A parable of race and politics in America. The story of Chicago's first black mayor--and the chaos that broke loose in Chicago politics when he took office. If you've never heard the hilarious, inspiring voice of Harold Washington, you're in for big treat.

“I’m in labor.”

“Go pee.”

“Breathe.”

“Blow.”

These are the only four things, I am assured by our birthing class instructor, that I need to remember when going to the hospital to have a baby. I wrote them down on a pamphlet she gave me so I wouldn't forget, and posted it on the refrigerator when I got home. I looked at several times a day for more than two months. I would not forget when the time came.

My friend Mark with his very unique take on becoming a daddy. Very funny reading and well in keeping with Mark’s matter-of-fact view on things.

Embracing my inner geek...

No poetry has been written about it, as Hart Crane did with the Brooklyn Bridge. No songs have been written about it, as Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel did with the 59th Street (Queensboro) Bridge. No one ever attempted to sell this bridge. Indeed, before it was ever completed, the span was described by John DeWitt Warner as a "surrender of the City Beautiful to the City Vulgar." While not renowned for its beauty, the Williamsburg Bridge has fulfilled its original mission to relieve traffic congestion on the Brooklyn Bridge, and to serve as an important link between Manhattan and the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn.

A link to one of my favorite sites with all the history and arcane lore of the New York area.

Around the bases - commentary on the world of Baseball File this item under the world’s most expensive blowjob: Neagle, who has not pitched in more than a year because of injuries, was pulled over Friday in suburban Lakewood for allegedly speeding. Police said a woman in his car told them he had paid her $40 for oral sex. Colorado Rockies pitcher Denny Neagle, shown in this Match 6, 2002 file photo, was cited Friday, Dec. 3, 2004, on a charge of soliciting a prostitute after a woman in his car said he paid her $40 for oral sex, police said. Neagle, who has not pitched in more than a year because of injuries, was pulled over at about 1:30 a.m. in this west Denver suburb fo Lakewood after an officer saw his white Cadillac Escalade speeding, police spokesman Steve Davis said. After the officer asked Neagle why his belt was unbuckled, the woman said Neagle had paid her for sex, Davis said.(AP Photo) This little lapse in judgement will wind up costing Neagle millions if he Rockies have their way. ...and speaking of teams throwing their money around...

Wow, first hurdle of the holiday season is past us! Hooray!

Thanksgiving has come and gone.

The requisite large dinner was fine - the three day bout with food poisoning wasn’t. Everytime I get sick reminds me of how fortunate I am to be relatively healthy most of the time.

Ah, I can see it now: THANKSGIVING! THE MOVIE! A holiday resulting in more trips to the bathroom than a week’s vacation to Mexico.

I was supposed to go away and then at the 11th hour changed plans out of some misplaced sense of guilt - well, maybe I’ll take a long drive later this month, who knows.

I haven’t written a lot lately because I’ve actually been busy as all get out trying to get things done - I’m soon to be the beneficiary of a bigger pipe (DSL) and truthfully I can’t wait. Plus making the migration over to new machines, wiping and trashing the old is turning into quite the bit of work.

Plus, I can feel another great adventure on the horizon... dating! I finally find myself having the urge to date again.

More as it happens.

Oh, and another reason I stopped writing was because of the crummy election and all the stupid fallout from it. It finally culminated in an email battle that cost a friendship (it had to happen and I’m sure I’m not the only person it happened to). Just didn’t make me feel like writing much about anything.c

Oh, and one other thing while I’m at it (and this is mainly because Mike told me I was two for two.

Now you have to imagine this in John Sterling’s voice:

The Yaaaannnkkkkeeeeesssss llooooossssseeeee!!!!!

The Yaaaannnkkkkeeeeesssss llooooossssseeeee!!!!!

The Yaaaannnkkkkeeeeesssss llooooossssseeeee!!!!!

I imagine whatever the fates had determined in regard to the election, they gave New England something to feel good about.

The Yankees - the first team in baseball history to lose a seven game series after being up 3 to nothing. Stick that alongside those 26 World Championships Yankee fans!

The biggest choke in baseball history!

That’s what the biggest payroll in baseball got you this year:

CHOKE!

On behalf of Mets fans everywhere - we knew you had it in you. Thank you for giving us what we need to stop you guys from ever crowing about your team again.?

I haven’t written in awhile now. It’s been a busy time and as much as I have to say, I wanted to give myself the time to clarify my thoughts.

Over the last week or so, since the election I’ve gotten a few angry emails from people about how dissatisfied they were by the outcome - I actually probably lost a friend over this stupid election (more on that another time).

So, since it seems to be a bit of a preoccupation with some people, let’s talk about the election.

Should we couch our conversation in the simplest of terms? Should we break everything down to “red states” and “blue states?”

I guess it all depends on just how ‘stupid’ one wants to be about the whole thing.

Yeah! That’s it! It’s those goddamn red states! No, it’s the fucking blue states - they just don’t get it!

Is this what the level of political discourse in this country has sunk to? Seems like it.

To take the tact of the patron saint of the Democratic party, “I feel your pain.” All the Democrat supporters out there who had pinned all their hopes on the Kerry/Edwards ticket, truly it was not a good day.

Of course, I don’t have to tell you this, you’ve been running around in your misery for the last few weeks since the election, basking in the delightful suffering of the election loss - so please take this in the spirit it is given: GET THE FUCK OVER IT!

Harsh? Maybe.

Look, Democrats in this country are faced with a tough job at this moment - they need to work harder than ever before. Let’s put it this way, the same effort that went into promoting the Kerry/Edwards ticket was an honest and earnest effort - it’s admirable, it really is! But, now the real job begins and that’s not about giving up. It’s about focusing all that effort onto the mid-term elections in two years and working just as hard for the state and local Democratic candidates on the upcoming ticket.

And let me tell you, I’m speaking as a registered Republican - figure that one out! Truthfully, I can say I’ve never cast a vote for Georgie Junior. As much as he wants to present himself as the standard bearer of the party, the dirty little secret is that there are a lot of moderate Republicans (yes, Democrats - I know you have a lot of trouble believing this but, we are out there) who would’ve been altogether happy to vote for someone other than Junior.

It’s just Kerry wasn’t that guy.

I mean, there are people on the Democratic side I really wish would’ve made the ticket, but they didn’t. Hell, there are some ‘Democrats’ I know who weren’t altogether that comfortable with candidate Kerry - what does that tell you?!?

Do me a favor though. Stop painting Republicans with a broad brush. During the campaign, I heard my party of choice vilified so much so, I almost was at the point of voting for Junior out of spite! Yeah, I can pull the party line lever with the best of them, do I want to? No, but make my party out to be a villain and you’re pushing me into that corner (which I think isn’t such an unusual reaction).

Man, I wish Kerry would’ve wowed me but, honestly when you got right down to it, I couldn’t find anything I was too happy about with his ‘plan for America.’

I think there are a lot of people out there that felt the very same way. Actually, I didn’t seem to pick up that much of a plan other than ‘I’d do the same thing the other guy did but, I’d do it better.’

It just wasn’t enough - and if you hardcore Kerry supporters out there tell me I’m wrong about that, well I guess that means you really didn’t do such a good job getting your message out to me and all those other people that voted.

So, suit yourself if you want, move out of the country, or how about talking about seceding from the union (ignoring the fact that in all 50 states there were people who voted for each of the two major candidates). Better still, just continue to whine and look for ways to blame the people of our country, “They’re stupid,” “Americans suck,” or my personal favorite, “you’ll be sorry.” The election was rigged somehow. I’m sure we’ll be able to obsess about the thousand and one reasons why Kerry didn’t win but, at the end of the day you’re just going to have to get past that.

Obviously something is happening in this country. There seems to be something going on of which we are all aware and truth be told I would hate to see the political pendulum swing too far to the right or to the left which would only happen when people decide they want to separate themselves from the process.

Oh, the election is today - get ready for months of moaning and groaning no matter who wins. The nice thing is though we’ll all still be here four years from now and get another shot at it no matter what some of the alarmists would have you believe.

Ooooo... so busy lately it doesn't ever seem like I have time to think, let alone write.

I've given myself over to silence lately. Usually, I’m one of those people that has to have a TV or radio on to feel comfortable but, with the pace of things lately a few moments of quiet are really necessary.

So much to write about... mmmmmm... where to begin? I know, how about this:

I’ve been fairly busy lately working (which is a story in and of itself). Something that happened the other day made me think about a trend I’ve noticed.

When was the last time you heard someone at your job say, “I don’t know.” Particularly when it involved them performing some kind of work related task or something they would be responsible for - usually it’s a common refrain when you’re asking the person in charge for some time off or for the ability to carry out some personal business - but, when was the last time a co-worker admitted to not being the “Master of the Universe?”

Just curious. Let’s all take a moment if we will and ponder that for a second, okay? Think you can remember hearing it recently at your job?

Anyway, so among the myriad responsibilities I wind up having, is coming in and doing those dirty jobs that nobody really wants to do. Yes, it can be quite tedious but, the pay is good.

Usually, I’ll get handed something a designer has made (oooooohhhh, pretty) but which now has to be used in real world settings by people who don’t care about the nuances of design and are more interested in getting their work done with a minimum of effort.

This entails taking a layout from a program a designer is familiar with (Quark and Illustrator are the most popular culprits), and putting it into some program which every office jockey the world over uses (Word).

Like a lot of other people in my end of the business, I hate all those Microsoft Office programs. They’re a necessary evil. Through the years, I’ve gotten familiar with them but, it’s a grudging familiarity to be sure.

So, this week one of my big projects was to take this design and make a template of it. What happens is once I’ve worked in the program for a few days, I get familiar with all the little tricks and as soon as a week or two passes without using Word, all those little neat tricks vanish from the knowledge base.

I’m in the middle of this thing and of course, like every other project I wind up working on, it was due three weeks ago. Eventually, I run up to this point where I get most everything finished but, there’s still this one thing I can’t quite figure out. Most programs nowadays have extensive help databases (which no one seems to want to use) and before I say I can’t do something, I’ll try typing in every kind of query I can hoping the program will tell me how I can do what I want to do.

Sometimes though it just doesn’t work out.

Now I’m left with two choices, I can say I don’t know how to do something or I can use what is a big tact these days and say it just can’t be done.

So, I say I don’t know.

Fortunately, I know people who might know and it’s only a matter of asking them. So, I tell the person I’m working for that that’s what I’ll do and I’ll find out the answer and get back to them...

...and as luck would have it, people are pretty nice to me about those things and when I send out an email asking for help, I get a bunch of responses a number of which have the answer I need. Lo and behold, problem solved!

So, I finish up the job and after everything is done I just go back and tell the guy everything is finished - it’s been taken care off and is ready to go.

He’s happy (it’s finished), I’m happy (I learned something and a bunch of people came through for me) and it’s one less thing to deal with.

But then, I got to thinking, how many times does someone actually say they don’t know?

Just something to keep in mind, don’t you think?

Bad week for the old folks...

I went to a wake last week. A friend called me Monday because he found out he has to fly out to Chicago to go to an uncle’s funeral this week and the same day I got the news someone else in the family passed - so there’s another wake and a funeral this week.

I don’t feel older but when I was at the wake last week, I was talking to a cousin’s kid (and her husband) who just had their seecond child!!! This relagates me to a generation of grandparents?!?!?!

Stop the clock!

Also, it’s unfortunate because the people who are passing are part of a unique generation and they will be missed.

The fairness in blogging doctrine.

As I had said earlier I’m not particularly crazy about the rhetoric of this campaign (on either side). So in the interest of fairness I thought I would post two emails I received today:

Cheney: Terrorists May Bomb U.S. Cities
By ANDREW WELSH-HUGGINS

CARROLL, Ohio (AP) - Vice President Dick Cheney on Tuesday evoked the possibility of terrorists bombing U.S. cities with nuclear weapons and questioned whether Sen. John Kerry could combat such a threat, which the vice president called a concept “you’ve got to get your mind around.”

“The biggest threat we face now as a nation is the possibility of terrorists ending up in the middle of one of our cities with deadlier weapons than have ever before been used against us - biological agents or a nuclear weapon or a chemical weapon of some kind to be able to threaten the lives of hundreds of thousands of Americans,” Cheney said.

“That’s the ultimate threat. For us to have a strategy that’s capable of defeating that threat, you’ve got to get your mind around that concept,” Cheney said.

Cheney, speaking to an invitation-only crowd as he began a bus tour through Republican strongholds in Ohio, said Kerry is trying to convince voters he would be the same type of “tough, aggressive” leader as President Bush in the fight against terrorism. “I don’t believe it,” the vice president said. “I don’t think there’s any evidence to support the proposition that he would, in fact, do it.”

Cheney praised the recent elections in Afghanistan but said they don't mean the U.S. mission there is finished.

“Does that mean it’s over now and we can walk away? No, it doesn’t,” he said. “This is three yards and a cloud of dust. There’s no touchdown passes in this business. We’ll stay as long as we need to help them train their own security forces, which we’re doing actively so they can take over responsibility for their own security.”

In a campaign appearance Monday in Johnstown, Pa., Cheney criticized rival vice presidential candidate John Edwards for going “overboard” in his comments about Kerry’s support of unrestricted federal funding for stem cell research, which Bush and Cheney oppose. He also accused Edwards of giving people “false hope.”

Edwards told supporters in Newton, Iowa, on Oct. 11, “If we do the work that we can do in this country, the work that we will do when John Kerry is president, people like Christopher Reeve will get up out of that wheelchair and walk again.” The actor, a quadriplegic who became an advocate for stem cell research, had died a day earlier.

“I thought, frankly, the other day what John Edwards suggested when he made his comments about Christopher Reeve, that somehow if John Kerry were president, Christopher Reeve could get up out of his wheelchair and there all of his problems would be solved, I really thought was an inappropriate remark, especially given... well, given the false hope it engendered,”
Cheney said.

and then I also received this email...

“One way or the other, we are determined to deny Iraq the capacity to develop weapons of mass destruction and the missiles to deliver them. That is our bottom line.” — President Clinton, Feb. 4, 1998

“If Saddam rejects peace and we have to use force, our purpose is clear. We  want to seriously diminish the threat posed by Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction program.” — President Clinton, Feb. 17, 1998

Iraq is a long way from [here],! but what happens there matters a great deal here. For the risks that the leaders of a rogue state will use nuclear, chemical or biological weapons against us or our allies is the greatest security threat we face.” — Madeline Albright, Feb 18, 1998

“He will use those weapons of mass destruction again, as he has ten time since 1983.” — Sandy Berger, Clinton National Security Adviser, Feb,18,1998

“We urge you, after consulting with Congress, and consistent with the U.S. Constitution and laws, to take necessary actions (including, if appropriate, air and missile strikes on suspect Iraqi sites) to respond effectively to the threat posed by Iraq’s refusal to end its weapons of mass destruction programs.” — Letter to President Clinton, signed by Sens. Carl Levin (D-MI), Tom Daschle (D-SD), John Kerry( D - MA), and others Oct. 9, 1998

“Saddam Hussein has been engaged in the development of weapons of mass destruction technology which is a threat to countries in the region and he has made a mockery of the weapons inspection process.” — Rep. Nancy Pelosi  (D,CA), Dec. 16, 1998

“Hussein has chosen to spend his money on building weapons of mass destruction and palaces for his cronies.” — Madeline Albright, Clinton  Secretary of State, Nov. 10, 1999

“There is no doubt that Saddam Hussein has invigorated his weapons programs. Reports indicate that biological, chemical and nuclear programs continue at  apace and may be back to pre-Gulf War status. In addition, Saddam continues to redefine delivery systems and is doubtless using the cover of an illicit missile program to develop longer-range missiles that will threaten the United States and our allies.” — Letter to President  Bush, Signed by Sen. Bob Graham (D, FL,) and others, Dec  5, 2001

“We begin with the common belief that Saddam Hussein is a tyrant and threat to the peace and stability of the region. He has ignored the mandated of the United Nations and is building weapons of mass destruction and the means of delivering them.” — Sen. Carl Levin (D,  MI), Sept. 19, 2002

“We know that he has stored secret supplies of biological and chemical  Weapons throughout his country.” — Al Gore, Sept. 23, 2002

“Iraq’s search for weapons of mass destruction has proven impossible to deter and we should assume that it will continue for as long as Saddam is in power.” — Al Gore, Sept. 23, 2002

“We have known for many years that Saddam Hussein is seeking and developing weapons of mass destruction.” — Sen. Ted Kennedy (D,  MA), Sept. 27,2002

“The last UN weapons inspectors left Iraq in October of 1998. We are confident that Saddam Hussein retains some stockpiles of chemical and biological weapons, and that he has since embarked on a crash course to build up his chemical and biological warfare capabilities. Intelligence reports indicate that he is seeking nuclear weapons...” — Sen. Robert Byrd (D,  WV), Oct. 3, 2002

“I will be voting to give the President of the United States the authority to use force if necessary to disarm Saddam Hussein because believe that a deadly arsenal of weapons of mass destruction in his hands is a real and grave threat to our security.” — Sen. John F. Kerry (D, MA), Oct. 9, 2002

“There is unmistakable evidence that Saddam Hussein is working aggressively to develop nuclear weapons and will likely have nuclear weapons within the next five years... We also should remember we have always underestimated the progress Saddam has made in development of weapons of mass destruction.” — Sen. Jay Rockefeller (D, WV), Oct 10, 2002

“He has systematically violated, over the course of the past 11 years, every significant UN resolution that has demanded that he disarm and destroy his chemical and biological weapons, and any nuclear capacity. This he has refused to do” — Rep. Henry Waxman (D, CA), Oct. 10, 2002

“In the four years since the inspectors left, intelligence reports show that Saddam Hussein has worked to rebuild his chemical and biological weapons stock, his missile delivery capability, and his nuclear program. He  has also given aid, comfort, and sanctuary to terrorists, including al Qaeda members... It is clear, however, that if left unchecked, Saddam Hussein will continue to increase his capacity to wage biological and chemical warfare, and will keep trying to develop nuclear weapons.” — Sen. Hillary Clinton (D, NY), Oct 10, 2002

“We are in possession of what I think to be compelling evidence that Saddam  Hussein has, and has had for a number of years, a developing capacity for the production and storage of weapons of mass destruction.” — Sen. Bob Graham  (D,FL), Dec. 8, 2002

“Without question, we need to disarm Saddam Hussein. He is a brutal, murderous dictator, leading an oppressive regime... He presents a particularly grievous threat because he is so consistently prone to miscalculation... And now he is miscalculating America's response to his continued deceit and his consistent grasp for weapons of mass destruction... So the threat of Saddam Hussein with weapons of mass destruction is real” — Sen. John F. Kerry  (D, MA),Jan.23. 2003

SO NOW THESE SAME DEMOCRATS SAY PRESIDENT BUSH LIED — THAT THERE NEVER WERE ANY WEAPONS OF MASS  DESTRUCTION AND HE TOOK US TO WAR UNNECESSARILY!

Send this to everybody you know... The networks won’t  do it (Fox excluded).  Its up to us to get the word out...

Quick! Let’s get Goosey Lucy! The Sky is falling! The Sky is falling!

“I thought he was maybe a parole officer or something. I let him in the building,” says Cepeda, the superintendent at 1220 Seneca Ave. “I didn't pay him no mind.”

The next day Cepeda saw the paramedics carrying the man out of apartment 4B, trying to revive him but knowing there was no use.

“They said he was already dead,” Cepeda says.

Diatribe Sunday

There have been a number of occasions over the last several weeks where I’ve started to write something only to lose my train of thought, get interrupted or have the computer crash.

Maybe today, I’ll manage to soldier through...

The Election.

There’s been a lot of ink devoted to the election over the last several weeks. Every four years the people of this country become obsessed with the political version of Survivor. No doubt, the reason why the reality show is so successful is in that it mirrors the presidential primaries and campaigns.

Just a few short months ago, we watched as Howard Dean’s scream in a moment of passion became his undoing and four years from now one wonders if it’ll be more than a footnote of the current campaign. Howard Dean fades into the ranks of those who tried for the brass ring and self destructed (let’s dig up images of Gary Hart and his playful boat rides).

I’m admittedly a bit of a cynic when it comes to these things. I can’t say I’ve been really satisfied by the positions of either of the two major parties over the last several years. There are points on both sides which have captured my heart and then there are points where they both have totally lost me.

So, there are only a few weeks left before I walk in and close that curtain and I can’t say I’ll be really sure what I’ll do until I close the that curtain behind me.

I will say that I followed most of the debates and came away very disappointed.

I listened to the first half of the first debate on the radio as I was on my way home from work.

Listening to the debate was a good thing as I was spared the posturing the candidates feel compelled to do on TV - makes me think everyone in the nation would be better served if the debates were televised but the candidates visages weren’t shown (I don’t know maybe put a picture of each guy up as he is speaking).

The thing that stuck with me was in a nation as large as ours these two are the best we can come up with?! How sad.

Also, doesn’t it appear that the nature of the campaigns has changed dramatically over the last fifty years? How much of an influence (and a negative one at that) does TV have on these things today?

Another thing that also interested me was that MTV, MTV2, BET and VH1 all networks which have been running campaigns endeavoring to get people out and vote decided not to carry the debates live. I guess Pimp My Ride is really the choice of likely young voters??

I hate public restrooms - work restrooms are one step below a public restroom in a lot of ways...

What’s the protocol for a workplace restroom?

When you find yourself in the restroom and a co-worker is also there at the same moment is it appropriate to conduct a conversation? I myself find it really difficult to suppress a guffaw when someone is ensconced in a stall trying mightily to conduct business. Also, it somehow takes prestige away from a manager or company president when you catch them in the stall with their pants down.

Years ago when I was at Grey there was a co-worker who was as regular as clockwork and made no secret of it by proudly announcing his foray to the lavatory and emphasizing the point by taking along reading material.

I don’t know why this comes up outside of the fact I’m really bored at work today and I just came back from a visit to the bathroom where someone was at the throne - I always feel this impetus to clear out as quickly as possible before things get really ugly and then I almost broke out laughing as the occupant was trying to stifle the sounds of the process.

I had a bill come today.

I think the bill illustrates just what is wrong with the country. Sometimes, I hear people justify income taxes as opposed to a national sales tax saying that a national sales tax is just unfair.

The truth is, if we only had to pay income tax it wouldn’t be so bad but, there are so many other taxes we wind up paying each and every day and often we have just become so numb to everything we don’t even begin to realize just how much money goes out of one’s pocket in taxes.

Anyway, so I got a bill from my long-distance carrier on my home phone. I haven’t used the home phone as much for long distance since nights and weekends long distance on the cell is free.

Here’s what the bill was:

One call - for one minute (it was probably less than a minute as I remember who I was calling and if I remember correctly they didn’t pick up but somehow I got charged for it anyway.

The total for the bill is $3.70!

...but wait there’s more. The charge for the phone call was .40¢

0.40 phone call
______________

0.99 carrier cost recovery
1.76 in-state access recovery
________________________________

0.10 state gross receipts surcharge
0.10 county sales tax
0.13 state sales tax
0.13 carrier universal service charge
0.09 federal excise tax
__________________________

So, a 40¢ call wound up costing me an additional $3.30 in other charges. F**k fuzzy math! Imagine going to the store, paying $2.20 for a quart of milk and paying $18.50 in additional charges (I did the math, proportionally that’s what it works out to).

Something is very wrong.

ü

The job I quit

So, I quit this job recently...

It was a really crappy job and I had had the job for a very long time (something like 12 years).

The hours were long, there was no pay to speak of, no job satisfaction and because of this job I sacrificed many of the things that were important in my life. The job took precedence over everything other aspect of my life and I felt I was obligated to stay. No matter how much I grew to despise the job, it was a responsibility I felt I couldn’t shirk. I have to admit, it was a burden and it made me feel trapped. It held me back from growing as a person and ultimately was bad for me both mentally and physically.

Recently, a day came where I realized I could quit. It had never occurred to me before or if it had I had dismissed it out of hand. That was my fault. There is no question about it, and I’m still trying to understand why it took so long for me to realize that simple fact. Something about it seemed wrong, I don’t know if it was the quitting itself or the walking away but, you can only bang your head against a wall for so long until you beat yourself senseless or finally wake up and come to the simple fact that beating your head against a wall does one little good.

Everyone deserves some kind of happiness and I guess I had bought into the company line for so long I thought somehow I was undeserving but, there was that epiphany.

So, over the last two weeks or so I have set about working at a new job. The job is taking better care of myself and treating myself right. This will be a very hard job for me to be successful at. I am sure there will be times when I will not do as well at this job as I should be doing but, I think it is worth the effort. The good thing of course is that if I am successful there will be a great many changes in my life and all of them will be for the better.

File under Hot For Teacher



Tampa middle school teacher Debra Beasley Lafave turned herself in to Marion County authorities Monday, as investigators there released details of her alleged sexual relations with a 14-year-old student.

The 14-year-old told detectives he and Lafave, 23, engaged in oral sex or sexual intercourse at three locations: in her portable classroom at Greco Middle School in Tampa, at her Riverview apartment and in her sport-utility vehicle while his cousin drove around Ocala earlier this month.

Here’s the difference between the genders - for a majority of 14 year old boys this is a dream come true, the only rub is mom finding out and teach getting busted, it probably ruined the summer of his dreams. I can’t speak to the age difference (I’ve dated people more than nine years older than me and more than nine years younger than me too) but, that’s one good looking woman! I guess there really is some limited equality between the sexes when women are as capable of being driven by their libido as men are. Of course, what would the slant be if it were a 23 year old male teacher and a 14 year old female student.

Kind of reminds me of Jenny McCarthy though (the face that is).

I was strolling through "the archives" just getting a sense of how long I’ve been doing this without doing any real writing when I came across this:

Back End of the Batmobile: The state of your Brass Eye soon after a really hot curry. “I had a Ring Stinger in the Benghazi restaurant last night, and now I’ve got a dose of Gandhi’s Revenge. My arse feels like the back end of the Batmobile.”

Lots of wonderful British slang I never knew.

Elmer Bernstein is a name in music synonymous with creativity, versatility and longevity. The year 2001 marked his 50th anniversary as a feature film composer who has written the music for over 200 major film and television scores, the only composer working today to have achieved such longevity. He has practiced his craft for the past half century, gracing virtually all creative media with his work.

You may have heard much of Elmer Bernstein’s music:

The lighthearted, mysterious piano from Ghostbusters, that was him.

The exciting horns trumpeting adventure in the National Geographic theme, that was him too.

Although he passed almost a month ago, it would be a crime not to note his passing, a man who left behind an incredible body of work (check out the website linked above) you may find you’ve enjoyed his compositions more than once without knowing who he was.